I generally try to take weekends off from my very stressful job, but unfortunately I had to spend a little bit of time today pushing a lawn mower around, and it was hot. However, that is completely irrelevant to what was chapping my ass today. What was chapping my ass today were the incompetent morons that plan out road construction in the state of West Virginia, specifically the city of Wheeling. So, with a little help from some online paint application because MS Paint was not working, I will try to illustrate why these people planning construction are comparable to Helen Keller playing that Simon game.

construction illustration
The roads are shown in their colors and the parts that are under construction are highlighted in yellow.

Isn’t that beautiful? Well as you can see from the picture and color descriptions there is an interstate with a cut-off that rejoins later. Now, firstly there is construction in the westbound tube of the tunnel, which causes some minor problems trying to get to Ohio (yes, it is unfortunately necessary to travel to this place). Here is a little history on this tunnel to begin with. They started repairing parts of the tunnel during my junior year of high school…and screwed it up the first time around. To this day they are still working on it and with the exception of a little paint job on the outside I can’t tell that they have even been working on it. However, this is not the first time there have been problems with this tunnel and construction. The tunnel exits onto the Fort Henry Bridge crossing the Ohio River, which I’m pretty sure by stepping foot in you will get tetanus. But anyways, the bridge and tunnel don’t exactly connect the right way, so there is a nice incline you hit upon exiting this beauty, thanks to a screw-up by the original builder, who I heard at one point committed suicide after his screw-up. The point of all the history is that basically any construction having to do with this tunnel is synonymous with failure.

Anyways, there is construction on that part of the interstate heading west, so one would think you would just take the cut-off part of the interstate to head west…wrong. The morons in their infinite wisdom decided to do construction on this interstate as well, backing up traffic halfway to the Pennsylvania border when trying to head west. This obviously makes it kind of challenging to get from West Virginia to Ohio without either of those sections of interstate, but have no fear, there is another entrance ramp onto the interstate right after the tunnel, which would allow one to just go that way…wrong again. For an added bonus, these guys wanted to plan out just a little bit more road work, so they decided to do it on the road that leads to the aforementioned entrance ramp. MORONS!

So basically, if you are trying to travel from West Virginia to Ohio, it has been made next to impossible by these select few individuals. This has been chapping my ass for quite some time now, and it probably won’t stop if the history of this tunnel is any indication of the future.

Finally, something for you to ponder. Do morons realize that they are in fact morons, or do they think that they are actually contributing members of society? Does everything in their lives come together as poorly as this construction project? I certainly hope so.